#5 A Broken Umbrella

This Collective of inspiring individuals who have reinforced for me my calling as an artist and this internal belief that things fall into place for some greater *divine* purpose.

They are the shapes, the makes, the mystics and the muses......and to quote Jose Rivera

"We speak in tongues while others speak in fortune cookies".

#4 My Mother

What can I say about mothers that hasn't already been said... She gave birth to me 30 years ago, and she remembers it like it was yesterday. I am a big event for her, but so are her other children.

She, however, is the ONLY mother I will ever have. There is something terrifying, and absolutely magical about that thought.

She is my only- and knows me sometimes when I don't know myself.

Oh- and I should mention- a total rock star to boot!

#3 Daphne

Yeah yeah, she's my dog- and without her I wouldn't be alive today.

Daphtastrophy came into my life when I was at one of the most depressed points I have ever faced in my life. She is a life-sized, free-willed Muppet that cannot be harmed by conventional means.

And I love every single ridicules thing about her.

Its too bad she can't read.

#2 My sisters

For all the face slapping, hair pulling, name calling and general ruckus caused from living in a house with three sisters, I am eternally blessed to call them just that.

They are always going to be in my foxhole-and not just because they have to- because they want to.

They make me proud to carry on the heritage of my family, proud that they share my face, my legs & my neurosis.

I love them without reconciliation and I am a better person for having them in my life.

#1 My Husband

I turned 30 on Saturday and decided that I would do a series of the 30 things...one a day.....of people/things/memories that I have shaped me. That I am grateful for.

So here is my first:

#1 My Husband

There is a spectacular way that he has about him that makes me want to be near him, even when he frustrates me and I would rather punch him in the face. I want to be closer than is physically possible to him. I love him without reason, or forfeit. I don't' have to be anything more or less. He makes me feel like I am just enough of something to not give up. And so I don't.

I remember meeting him, 1st kissing-him, falling in love with him and growing-up with him.

I can't wait to start a family with him.

I am so angry today. Nothing else.

I think there is this misconception out there in the world that we start out with a whole heart....I don't buy it.
It goes against what everyone has ever said to me about being in love....this idea that two become one.
So maybe its not that two become one, but rather that we are never whole to begin with.
And ever so occassionally we can meet that rare bird who can mend us with a bit of string.
And maybe those moments are fleeting.
And maybe that's why it hurts so bad when we separate from people- even when they are no good for us.
Because ultimately each of us walks around with half a heart, waiting to be mended.